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I woke into fear before I was fully awake.
It began in that thin liminal space between sleeping and knowing — then dropped fast from my chest to my toes. In less than a second, my body was drenched in sweat. There was no slow build. No warning. Just sweat.
At first, it was small. Pens vanished. A piece of jewelry disappeared or broken into pieces. Items later resurfaced — weeks after they had been “lost” — placed in drawers I had already searched, on shelves, even in my car. Over time, the pattern escalated: anything I valued — emotionally, symbolically, materially — was damaged, hidden, or taken. Most never recovered.
There were subtle shifts in body language. A flash of guilt as truth entered the room. A tightening at the mouth. Hands wiping against thighs. By the end, he could not meet my gaze at all. His head hung in shame; his body turned inward.
The body reveals what words attempt to hide.
This is only a fragment of my story — enough for you to know I do not speak from theory. I speak from having walked the path.
If something in you recognizes this pattern and you've been thinking "how can I get out of this?" I'm here to help.
I have two resources for you: The Leaving List
Clarity is the first step toward reclaiming yourself.